What Have I Done?
by KittyandKat
Summary: SPOILER TO THE NINTH BOOK! Raven is regretting almost everything in her old human life. She wonders if it is even worth sticking around anymore. Little sister Stormy steps in and cheers her up, in a way. Set in the ninth book. A few weeks after she marries Alexander. One-shot unless otherwise requested!


**Well, this is one of my little random depressing one-shots that come up out of nowhere that I write down and forget about. Well, I was looking for my Geometry assignment in my notebook where I keep and do everything (it's one of those really really thick notebooks) and I stumbled upon this and decided to ignore my homework and type this up! And the chores. Oops :(. Oh well. At least I only have to type stuff down and not have to think about it still. Well, I suppose I add a lot of stuff, but it's better then starting from scratch!  
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**I hope that you lovely people out there that read this like this! Please tell me if you like this enough to make it a full-blown story. I'm not sure yet if I want to, so please tell me if you would like that. I am leaning towards doing it, but it probably would not be long, since I really doubt that I would make it any true couple story like I do with a couple of my other ones. It will stick to Raven, mainly. Maybe I will make it a non-canon couple story, maybe she won't even be part of a couple, who knows? That could all happen still.  
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**This little one-shot is set after the ninth book, after (SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE NINTH BOOK, IT SHALL SPOIL THE ENDING! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED SO DON'T YELL AT ME IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT AND I GIVE IT AWAY BECAUSE I DID WARN YOU!) Alexander changes Raven. And her thoughts and regrets and stuff like that. You know, stuff that I think that she would think after a little bit. Well, if she was happy after a while, then more power to her, but this is my opinion on what she would think after a couple weeks of marriage and being a vampire.  
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**Enjoy!**

What have I done? Why did I make this choice. I had thought that he would be my eternal love.

But, weeks into Alexander and I's marriage, I am already wondering if I made the wrong choice. Should I have waited longer? At least until I was out of high school? Maybe if I have I wouldn't have so many regrets.

I miss the sun so much. I miss the warmth it provided that always banished the chills out of my body. I missed it's light. I honestly, deeply regret trying to avoid it's shining rays, choosing to stay in the dark. Never have I ever thought that I would miss it as I do now.

Another thing I regret is hiding from everyone. From shutting everyone out, from never letting anyone in. Maybe if I had tried to make my human life a little better, I would not have rushed becoming a vampire so much. That, if I still would have made the choice, I would have been a little more prepared to say goodbye to everyone.

Alexander and I had moved back to Romania about a week after I was married. I told my parents that I had gotten a scholarship to a boarding school in Romania (I still can not believe that they bought it), I told Becky the truth, and then I just packed up and left. I was still not ready to let my parents in on the secret, since I am pretty sure that they would stake both Alexander and I in the heart if I did.

The biggest regret I have is not giving another guy a chance. I never, not once when I was human, thought that Alexander was the wrong guy for me. Now that it's too late, I am starting to get those kind of thoughts in my head. Now that there is no turning back, I am thinking that maybe I should have given Jagger or Trevor a chance. Now that I am stuck to Alexander for the rest of eternity, that is not a possibility.

Luna no longer even bothers to give us a second glance. Not even to see the sorrow in my eyes. Both her and Jagger came back around the same time we did, except not permanently. Jagger looked... well, hurt. Very, very hurt. And that just broke my heart.

God, I miss everything. I miss being human. If I were given the chance to take everything back, to start over, I would do everything differently. I would not have stayed with Alexander so long, for one thing. In reality, now that we are married, he is starting to become a bit of a prick. I probably would have gone outside more, too.

Now it's too late for even that. Or, according to Alexander, we can go out in daylight during total solar eclipses. Since there aren't going to be any of those any time soon, I am basically stuck with sleeping during the day and coming out at night.

The whole blood diet thing sucks too. I miss eating Count Chocula for breakfast every morning. Now I just eat raw meat and blood.

With all of my regrets, I wonder if it is even worth sticking around anymore. Alexander is never home, he never lets me come with him wherever he goes, and I have absolutely zero contact with anyone besides his little sister, Stormy. She is a sweet kid, really, but I need a girlfriend my age that I can talk to about all of this. Someone who I can talk to about everything. I would originally choose Luna, but since Alexander and I got married, she probably will never speak or even look at me ever again.

"Raven? Are you ok?" Stormy asked me, jerking me out of my thoughts. My eyes flickered up to the young girl, who's braces glittered off of the low candlelight that I was sitting by. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Yes. No. Maybe." I muttered. "I'm just thinking, ok?"

"You must have been pretty deep in thought. When Alexander said he was leaving, you did not even say goodbye." Stormy mused, perching next to me on the armrest of my chair.

"He left?" I asked her. _Again? _I added mentally.

She nodded.

"I don't know what he is doing, but it must be pretty intense. He has been gone almost every night this week." Stormy said, swinging her legs. She was wearing a pair of black capris with a big whole on the thigh, with black and white striped leggins and a dark purple t-shirt. Her black hair was done up in two ponytails.

"Who knows?" I said quietly, shrugging my shoulders. Stormy studied me for a moment, before sighing.

"Alexander is going to kill me." she muttered under her breath.

"What? Why?" I asked, curiosity effectively breaking my silence.

"Let's face it; you are completely miserable here." she stated. It was not even a question.

I gave in and nodded.

"Yes, but what can we do about that?" I asked with a shrug. "I am stuck here for the rest of eternity."

Stormy sighed and shook her head.

"Not quite." she said. "Look, there is a way out of the covenant bond."

"What?" I asked, excitement overtaking me. "There is?!"

Now that I think about it, breaking the bond seems just like what I need to do. Alexander does not treat me like a wife, anyways. Who says he ever will?

"Listen, I can get a hold of some witches that can come and perform a spell that will separate you from Alexander." she explain quickly, her eyes darting around. As if to check for eavesdroppers. "But it is extremely risky."

"I am willing to do anything at this moment." I said bitterly, standing up. "So who are these witches?"

"Their names are Savannah and Evelyn." she replied. (I know, I know. I use them in Taken Away, so what?). "They are powerful, powerful witches, and even more powerful when they are together. They are twins, you know."

"Really? When can we make this happen?" I asked her, my happiness that I can get out of the bond overtaking any other emotion that I had. Even any doubt that maybe I should wait a little longer to break it. Alexander will be extremely furious at both Stormy and I, but it will be worth it if I can get my freedom back.

"Tomorrow night at the earliest, if they are not committed anywhere else." Stormy said. "I will have to make some phone calls, but I should be able to get them to come over and perform the spell. I'm sorry to say this, but there is nothing they can do about you being a vampire. Sorry." she apologized. As if I really cared about being a vampire. It is not so much about that anymore; I have for the most part gotten over all of my regrets for giving up being human.

"It's alright." I assured her. Being stuck a vampire is a small price to pay for being able to get out of this bond. "But when we are separated, where will I stay? I can't stay here." I said in realization. I really can't stay here, and I can't go home, either. What in the Hell would I do?

"There is a club in town that offers rooms for vampires." Stormy explained quickly as I panicked. "Like the Coffin Club in America. You will have to get a job, but that should be fairly easy. I bet that I could get you a job at the bar." she said, stroking her chin. "My friend's older brother works there in management; he might even be able to give you an employee discount on the coffin rent. And before you give me that look, no, it's not a strip club. You'd probably just be a bus girl or something."

"Why are you doing this, Stormy?" I asked her curiously. In honesty, shouldn't she be supporting her older brother some more?

She shrugged her shoulders, her black hair shifting from in front of her shoulders to behind. Her brown eyelashes fluttered.

"I suppose I don't want to see you miserable for the rest of eternity." she admitted. "Plus, I owe it to Billy to keep you happy."

"Wait... does he know?!" I shrieked in shock. She looked guilty, but nodded her head.

"I told him when I was last in America. I made him swear not to tell anyone, and not to tell you that he knew. Plus, I also called him when you two first came over here. Explained to him that I would keep an eye on you."

"Aw, that's so sweet! But, won't he tell my parents where I am?" I asked worriedly.

"No, he won't. He promised." she assured. "Now, I have to go start arranging things. You stay here and not be so miserable. Find something to do."

And with that and another metal smile, she strolled back out of the room, leaving me in silence

I waited until she was surely out of ear-shot, before I bounded out of my seat and whooped into the air.

"I'm going to be free!" I called out to no one in particular. "I'm going to be free!"

**Like I said, I will make it into a full story once it is requested enough. Like, two or three people, maybe. I don't know, maybe I'll just do it anyway... just tell me if you want it, ok? I will work on it faster and make a decision faster if you do. It just makes it a bit easier on me, because sometimes I just can not make decisions to save my life. Sometimes I can't, but for stuff like this, it's really hard for some reason. Oh, well.  
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**Don't be a silent reader and REVIEW!**

**(I just realized I say that after almost every single one of my chapters :O Shocking!)  
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**Oh, and if I do continue, I will be asking for OC's for people at the bar, like who works there and who she meets. Feel free to submit your own now!  
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